When You Love Someone That Has No Self Control

Updated: Oct 24

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galations 5:22)

The Holy Bible says that you can never have enough moderation. With disciplined habits you can experience a spirit full of goodness. But is it that simple? Be loving, be joyful, be peaceful, be patient, and be kind to live a good life? .... Absolutely! But what if you love someone that doesn't use self control? In fact, they're always oversleeping, overspending, oversharing, and sabotaging every good thing in your life because they can't manage their own behaviors.

Self Control being our primary fruit of focus can be compared to a mango, rich and full of nutrients, but it deteriorates if you don't eat it. The illustrious mango is sweet and filled with vitamin C, it is also great for relieving symptoms of constipation in children with gastrointestinal issues. With all of it's great benefits the mango will never gain popularity with a child who just won't eat it. If you never pick up a mango, you'll never know the sweet taste of it's rewards. Same with self control, if you never regulate your emotions and do the things you don't want to do, you'll never learn the value of delayed gratification.

Behavior Science says, self control is the personal application of behavior change tactics to produce a desired outcome. In order to be effective, the application methods used must be observed, documented, and rewarded by the individual seeking to change themselves... but how do you drive someone to change? What will make your husband stop getting so angry, and your daughter stop pulling her hair? The answer is, free will. People change when they want to change and we must accept them for who they are. Remember, there are bad behaviors, but not bad people.

If you or someone you love have autism or are struggling to manage your emotions and get through daily routines, click here to sign up for a behavioral consultation.

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